Itgirls.blog

During every girl preteen and teen age there is this silent switch that raises questions like ‘Why am I not skinny enough?’ or ‘ Why can’t I look like that?’. It doesn’t come all of a sudden, these questions come with time, the effects of bullying and mostly with the time their bodies starts to change. Unfortunately that’s how most of the young girls today start their journey with self love and their relationship with food. The bullying effect is totally real, believe me I’ve been there and I’ve done that, I can confidently say that I’m scared for life.

BDD doesn’t always mean that you perceive yourself as bigger or chubbier than people actually see you. For some of us BDD goes way deeper than just seeing yourself differently then others see you. Usually it starts with that, with thinking ‘if I’ll lose a few pounds I’ll be happier or I’ll look better’ but from that it can easily escalate to skipping a few meals and obsessively weighing yourself after everything you eat and then to making yourself throw up if you’re not happy with the weight and asking everyone if they think you look bigger and even starving yourself if you get really unhappy and the worst part is that some have to hide it from their loved ones. This is a never ending cycle that a lot of people go through during their teen years. It’s a cumulation of little things that at some point become too much to handle.

Teens nowadays live their lives on social media and post pictures and stories for the approval of others, but behind that perfect and aesthetic picture with the perfect song in the background is a person who probably edited the lighting and made their waist look smaller or their legs look skinnier and asked several people if they liked the picture before posting it to make sure it’s ‘socially acceptable’ and people or a certain boy will like it. Behind the ‘perfect picture’ that looks so effortless, trust me it’s a lot of effort and time put into making it ‘perfect’. I say this with so much confidence because I’ve been there at some point in my life and sometimes I still go back to that.

Lots of people don’t take it seriously including the ones who suffer from this disorder. What I realized during these past few years is that once these thoughts start roothing in you’re brain they never fully go away, they only become more silent and you start learning how to cope and live with them. I won’t lie, it does get better at some point, like that quote said ‘it may be stormy now but it won’t rain forever’,it really won’t rain forever you just have to be ready and patient to pick up the broken pieces left after the storm because it will take time to reach a certain point where a meal won’t scare you and you’re not going to count every calorie and wear what you want because YOU think it looks good and YOU feel good in you’re skin and you won’t need the approval of others to feel good.

I never thought I will reach this point in my life where I’m good in my skin, and where I can really enjoy food and pool days and clothes and the normal small things that not too long ago felt impossible. What I can confidently say is that you can’t please everyone, there will always be people who will think you’re fat or not good enough. Personally, I spent so much of my teenage years studying peoples behaviors, paying attention to their remarks and their mean jokes, trying to be something that I’m not just to make sure I won’t be their next topic of discussion, and that alone killed my confidence and the childish and playful part of myself that made me who I really am. It took me a long time and a few amazing people to help me bring back to life those parts of myself. Today the rainy days still occur once in a while but once they’re gone the sun shines brighter than ever.